long island medium

So the other night, I was channel surfing and to my dismay, none of my favorite shows were on.  Meanwhile, the Mister was out in the den watching a DVR recording of some stupid family motorcycle show that he likes.  What can I say... he may have great taste in women but not an ounce in TV shows.

I went into our love nest bedroom and started clicking through the 400 thousand channels that we pay for and came across a show on TLC that I fell in love with. I do not use the word "love" casually when it comes to my favorite sport of TV watching. But I must admit, I was positively mesmerized.  Let me try to communicate with you telepathically....

 

Ok... it worked... you must be psychic!  If you haven't seen the show, let me introduce you to Theresa Caputo, a Long Island housewife and Medium.  What is a Medium you ask?  In Long Island tawk, she communicates with people who have paaased.  That's how she tawks...

 

Theresa and Larry have two children and are happily married.  They live their lives doing very ordinary things just like us. And then all of a sudden when they are grocery shopping or doing something boring like that ....Theresa's face starts twisting and turning, very similar to when someone has that look of "where is the closest bathroom NOW?!"   Larry then turns to the camera, rolls his eyes and says "Here we go again!"

 

By the way.. I love you, Larry, but the squirrel cut is not working for you...find a new barber.  Enough said.  And another thing... I'm not going to make a mention of all those tatoos that have hijacked those guns of yours.

 

So then Theresa and her Long Island nails walk over and introduce herself to some unsuspecting person.  She tells them that her name is Tuh-reee-suh Ca-pooo-tow and she is a Medium - a person who communicates with someone who has paaaased.  Then she asks, "Has a female in your family paaaaased?  Perhaaaaps from the chest up becawz I am haaaving trouble breathing and this person is trying to communicate?"   It may take a few minutes, but the unsuspecting victim person can usually come up with someone who has paaaased in the paaaast five years.  Then the tears begin from the victim person and they usually always tell a story of a death of a loved one that causes them a some sort of guilt or angst.  

 

AND THIS IS WHY I LOVE THERESA....

 



 

 

She always leaves her victim new friend with a vaaary positive feeling that the loved one that has paaaased is very haaapy and loves them vaaary much.  She then tells them the person who has paaaased wants them to feel guilt no moooore.

 

My girl, Theresa always finishes on a happy note.

 

 

 

What can I say Tuh-reeeee-sah... I not only love YU-wer show...

I really love YU-wer HAY-yer!!

*****

Happy Election Night!
Hope my your candidate wins!