RHONJ

Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

My name is Katie Clooney and I am a compulsive Real Housewives addict.  I do not discriminate - I'll watch those crazy ladies from any city.  

Don't judge me.  I get enough of that at home from the Mister as he strolls into the room, looks at the TV and shakes his head disapprovingly and asks (for the second time this week) whether Real Housewives is on seven days a week.  No, I tell him impatiently -this is a marathon and it should be over within the next 12 hours.

I sat through three veerrry long, loud hours of Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show.  Not for myself - for you, my readers, so that I could report on it.  It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it.

 

Tre - where do I begin?  Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any crazier - you surprise me! You managed to alienate every one of the other crazies on the show.  I even noticed the fear in Andy's eyes that you were going to smack him again!  The whole cast has agreed that they would not film with you again.  My suggestion is this:  you either find somebody to produce the "Crazy Teresa and Out of Control Joe Show" or you rifle through Kathy's kitchen drawers and find some more of her mother's recipes and write another cookbook.  Oh and one more piece of advice - get a divorce.  If you believe Joe was on a call to a guy who works at a pizza parlor -  I've got a Zumba studio in Maine you can invest in.

Caroline - you are the self-appointed matriarch of the RHONJ.  You always want to appear the "voice of reason and concern" on the show.  I don't feel that way though - I feel you are a self-serving opportunist.  You have a great family.  I know it's tough being an empty nester but you have a lot of good things to say and do.  Take the energy from stirring the pot and holding grudges and put it towards something useful like selling "black water" at Trade Days or write a blog.

  

Melissa - you are one of my favorites... and not because of your music. You'll never find "On Display .. On Display" on my I tunes.  The reason that I like you is that you understand that your hubby feels that family is of utmost importance and you know that he is hurting about his relationship with his psycho sis.  I think you might be a bit self-involved but your heart is in the right place.

 

Jacqueline... you were a victim of Teresa's antics but I can't help but say you were quite a little instigator yourself. I'm sure you are a nice person and I know you are facing challenges with your sweet son. If you asked me my advice I would tell you to take the energy that you have put into the filming of the show and put it towards your son and family.

 

Kathy - I know you put some $$ into your nose job and highlights but I have to be honest... I thought you looked better before.  I think that you are the most sensitive of the housewives and have the nicest family.  My advice... get off the show and do what your heart is telling you... open a bakery or catering business. 



Last but certainly not least...   

Who knew that after all the talk about who was the ex-stripper on the show it turned out to be...

 Joe Gorgalicous!

I almost feel sacrilegious posting this today
but have a great Sunday!