Sky Mall

I am a very nervous flier.  I have never told my girls this because I didn't want to pass my fear on to them.  When they were little and turbulence rocked our ride, they didn't know any better and thought it was fun.  Meanwhile,  I was ready to pull the oxygen cups down from ceiling, and suck every ounce of oxygen out of them while I clung to my flotation device.  Don't judge me... I would grab the girls too because the Mister sure couldn't because he would be sound asleep.
This last flight I was seated next to the emergency exit.  Obviously, American Airlines knows a responsible flier when they see one.  The Mister was designated to a middle seat.  I guess they know his history of lapsing into snoreville as soon as he hits his seat.  Not moi.  I accepted my duties with honor and read every letter of the safety pamphlet.  This flight was in good hands.
Back to the point of this blog... Sky Mall.  I love this magazine and for some reason my nerves become a little more settled when I have my nose tucked into it.  Here are some of my finds from my last flight.  

igrow Hair Rejuvenation Laser $695

This product contains an enzyme that will prevent and reverse gray hair.   The top product promises to grow hair.  I believe these claims about as much as I do that Lance competed in the 2009 Tour de France dope free.

Clip on Bangs
That's what I need!  I knew I was missing something....If the Princess and First Lady are making the plunge, so can I.

Tranquil sounds oxygen bar
For a mere $399.00 I can lounge on my couch and breathe in 30% of oxygen enriched air and listen to the sounds of tranquility. I just want to see the Mister's face when he walks in from a long day at the office and I am decompressing on the couch from a tough day of blogging.  I'll just put the vacuum in the middle of the room and hope for the best.
Password Vault
I need this desperately.  One question though...how do I remember the password to get into the vault.  Maybe I'll just write it on my hand... seemed to work for me in high school.

Mademoiselle floor lamp
Wish I looked this good with a lampshade on my head.  I would never buy this because I would be afraid the Mister would like her better than me.

Invisible Ink Kit

Could have used this in the old days when Sista used to steal all my stuff!

Smoking Dragon Incense Kit
This guy looks like he gives off some pretty mean incense.  Hmmmm.. Sista's birthday is coming up in February and I'm pretty sure she doesn't own one of these.

Queen and corgi
I just realized something... the queen and I have the same legs.  She has better shoes, though.

Embrace Statue
This is for all the young ladies out there that may be entertaining their future in-laws.  Place it on your coffee table where you are serving them cocktails, and let the fun begin!  Great ice breaker.  

Big Foot Yeti Sculpture
Not crazy about your neighbors?  Sick of the kids in the neighborhood trying to sell you stuff?  Put this guy in your front yard and you will experience total isolation.  Guaranteed.

boot dazzlers
You can bedazzle just about anything these days.

Waist Cincher Fat Burner
My question is this... how do I actually get into this thing.  And another thing ... how long do I have to wear it before I start looking like her?

Magnetic Tie 
Throw out the bow ties, Mister.  I found the perfect accessory that eliminates "sloppy tie syndrome."

Clip in Feathers
Bought a set of these for my buddy, Delaney, last year for her birthday.  Have never seen her wear them.  I paid good money for them at the Dollar Store.

Replace the word "novel" for "blog" and I would order a dozen of them.  You don't know how many times I have threatened friends and family with this statement.  Somebody's got to keep them in line. 

This is was one of my favorites.

No truer words have been said, Sky Mall.




Hope y'all are having a weekend filled with clear skies and no turbulence.