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Thursday, April 23, 2015

An open letter to Andy Cohen

Hello dear friends.  Today, I hit two Marshalls and one Homegoods in search of some accessories for our patio.  It's the most exercise I've gotten in years.  It ain't easy being me.

This is a letter I drafted to my almost ex-boyfriend, Andy Cohen.  If you don't know who Andy is, God bless you, you have a lot more sense than me.  You are excused, and may proceed to the next blog on your list.  Don't forget to come back, though.

***** 


Dear Andy,


I never thought I would ever even think of writing this kind of letter to you.  But, unfortunately, you leave me no choice.



Let me just say it.  I think that I want to break up with you.  I know we have a lot of history together - from Jill Zarin to Vicky Gunvalson, from New York to Beverly Hills with a brief stint in DC.  Good or bad, I have stoically stuck by your side.



First of all, let me start by saying it's not you, it's them.  The reason for my change of heart entirely centers around this year's season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  To say I was bitterly disappointed with this season, is a gross understatement.



I think you should have changed the name of the show from RHOBH to The Kim and Kyle Show.  You allowed these two crackadoodle sisters to literally hijack the show this season.  Every episode centered around Kim's behavior and everyone else's reaction to her antics.  Even Brandi took a back seat; something I never thought possible.



Some hard-hitting questions for you....







Could we not have seen more scenes with Yolanda and her gorgeous home?  Or maybe, just one more gander into that state-of-the-art fridge?  Maybe peek into her closet and get a final total of the exact amount of white jeans she owns?  How about more scenes of Yo and Mauricio looking at bazillion dollar houses?  By the way, I sensed some chemistry there.







What about more time over at Lisa and Harry's casa?  Maybe we could have seen her slip into her Depends while mumbling the F-word for the umpteenth time.  Why not more awkward moments with their entitled, spoiled girls?  I feel cheated.

But instead we put our energy into trying to figure out what big secret Kim had on Harry.  Who cares?




And poor Eileen.  I don't think she spoke eight words during the entire reunion due to the sparring sisters.  How come there were no scenes with her cute hubby on the tennis courts in some short shorts?  Instead, we got to see him looking out a garage window, like a deer in headlights witnessing one of Kim and Kyle's cat fights. 



 Why didn't you have Eileen host a game night with the in-laws - the Dick Van Pattens?  And why not include Brandi for a round of truth or dare?  Brandi could ask Eileen one more time if she and Vince cheated on their former spouses with each other.  It would make for some awkward family moments!!    

I'm not so sure Eileen will be renewing her contract after that roller coaster ride in the Kim and Kyle car.





I've never seen Lisa V so well behaved as this season.  She certainly kept her head down and her powder dry.  It was probably because she couldn't get a word in edgewise.  I'm not disappointed that there were few scenes with creepy Ken and pampered Pandora.  But Andy, no meaty juicy scenes with Giggy?  Was he demanding more $$?  Getting too full of himself?



FYI...Brandi borrowed this dress from me.

Brandi was the enabler of this hijacking by the K & K duo.  Nobody loves to stir the pot more than Brandi.  I love how she sits back during the never-ending reunion segment with a sly, so glad their not picking on me smile.  

I would have even appreciated more scenes with Brandi away from the group.  Perhaps next season she could be nominated for the Mary Kay Letourneau Award?






I'm not going to waste my time and energy talking about Kim and Kyle because as far as I'm concerned, they have received way too much air time.  I am not here to feed the beast.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I have decided not to break up with you for one reason.





  

Until next time...








Katie Clooney
Katie Clooney

I'm Katie. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am an empty nester meandering through my middle-aged years while entangled in the never-ending process of renovating an antique home on the South Shore of Massachusetts. I love to write about books, movies, TV, celebrities, decorating, and weekend adventures. My favorite writing material is derived from my family: the Mister, my girls, #1 and #2, and my two untrainable, rambunctious pups, Chowdah and Chili.

26 comments:

  1. Lol love it! You must send it, seriously..it could go viral because I bet many would agree with you. Kim is a total wackadoodle, there are no words....and she makes for a boring show indeed. These women are too much, C R A Z Y. But fun to watch, a true guilty pleasure. I do hope you will send this!! Well said:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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      THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER THAT HELPED ME SOLVED MY URGENT CRITICAL RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM.
      I dont know how to really thank Dr. Keke Odin for what he did for me. My Name is Anita Kelly from Los Angeles, i was dating this man who i loved very much for over four years now without any problem in our relationship. so at a point he changed so suddenly after returning from the office and started behaving so strangely. it even got to the extent that he told me it was over and i should never call him again. This was a person that loved me with everything that he had. When i told my friend jenny what happened, she introduced me to a great spell caster called DR KEKE ODIN, the chief priest of all spell caster. At first sight this man told me all my problems that it was his secretary that used a charm on him. Dr KEKE ODIN told me not to worry that he will help me solve the problem. The following day, i was in the house in a sober mood when i first received a message from my boyfriend that he was very sorry and before i dropped the phone, he called me again to say he is on his way home and that he was truly sorry for everything. To my greatest surprise, one week later he engaged me and we got married. All Thanks to KEKE ODIN. You can contact him through the following means

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      Delete
  2. Katie. I love you and your blog. I was smiling before I even read this post. you had me at andy cohen. let's share him shall we? love him to pieces but i'm with you on the two sisters too much bit this season. thanks for cracking me up :)

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  3. WHOOP! Fantastic post Katie.....I SO agree with you on RHOBH....you just stated it beautifully...perhaps you should hit the "send" button on your letter to cutie Andy! They need a shake-up to, as you say, focus more on the more sane women of this group! Bravo!!!!

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  4. Anyone who doesn't know Andy may have more sense, but certainly has more time on their hands than I do. As you well know, it is not easy keeping up with all the Bravo shows. I couldn't agree with you more re this season's RHOBH. The season was an epically boring screaming match giving (in particular) Kim and Brandi too much screen time. I loved the addition of Lisa R. and Eileen and hope they do come back. Also hoping that Yo feels better and can return so we can see more of her and David. Thank goodness for the return of RHONY and Bethanny. I love that we've already gotten to spend some time in the city AND in the Hamptons! Have a wonderful weekend, my friend!

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  5. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! whoever said "wackadoodle" nailed it!! HAHAHAHAHA!! Kim, now obviously after her latest stunt, needs some serious re-hab time and a wake up and realize it's me that's bonkers here.....even more than brandi!
    But I gotta tell ya..........Bethany is making ME wackadoodle watching her. Is she on uppers on a daily basis?? who can talk that fast and remember what she's said? she's come outa the gate very defensive, IMOHO!

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  6. How funny! I've got to start watching this again! Lisa Reno has always been somewhat of a fascinating odd-ball to me.

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  7. Holy Moly...I had a few hours of down time over spring break and thought..."Hey why not kill some brain cells and watch the reunion shows." I could not agree with you more...enough already girls...I probably won't catch RHONY unitl school gets out.

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  8. You are the best - you must send this letter to Andy and I couldn't agree with you more. Like you, I am still dying over Yolanda's refrigerator…it's amazing!!!

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  9. I am so with you on this! I am over BH unless they replace a couple of them. I am so digging NY!!

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  10. Great post!! I agree with everything, except I kind of like the Kyle/Kim antics! I guess I have train wreck mentality! lol And I do like Kyle but not Kim! Yolanda is my favorite and the scenes shot in her house are the best. Eileen is normal and probably quite nice, but kind of boring. The 2 Lisas are okay. And Brandy should just go asap. With all that being said, I still watch so maybe I'm the crazy one!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm with you, Cathy. I'm the crazy one. I hate to admit it but when I fold laundry (which is infrequently) I will still watch the RHOBH repeats. The Mr. thinks they play it 24 hrs a day. Enjoy your weekend.

      Delete
  11. It's probably good you are breaking up with Andy. YOU'RE not his type anyway....lol I missed several of the shows this season but you don't miss much- it is the same antics just in a different location every week. Lisa was VERY nice this season! Surprised--although I do like her. And because I didn't see the whole season I thought Kyle looked extremely thin on the reunion show---or is that just me? She looked "harder" somehow.

    Great post! Love it- xo Diana

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  12. HMMMMM!!! LOL. I don't watch the show , but when I used to live in LA I developed a twitch in my right eye whenever I went to Beverly Hills. ;)
    XO Laura

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  13. This is so funny that it makes me want to go watch the show! Have a great weekend!

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  14. I signed on to look at rich people's extravagant homes and get to peek at lavish lifestyles. The only thing that delivered this season was a last peek at Yo's fridge. I am so over watching a mentally ill addict crash and burn, trashy crude behavior, and F-bomb dropping contests. I've already quit watching Orange County/New Jersey and never did watch Atlanta. New York may be next on the chopping block if Carole doesn't get back to blogging. I really enjoy Southern Charm because they are just a bunch of people mostly having a good time, but the ratings aren't good so I figure they will either trash it up or start creating fake drama. I know lots of it is scripted, too, but they pretty much watch their language and seem to get along.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love you more than you could possibly know, Katie.

    Drop the mic.

    No. More. Words.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I ADORE you so much,and this letter to Andy just makes me realize it even more! Those sisters are CRAZY!! Hope you have a great weekend....XOXO,Elaine

    ReplyDelete
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