An open letter to Andy Cohen

Hello dear friends.  Today, I hit two Marshalls and one Homegoods in search of some accessories for our patio.  It's the most exercise I've gotten in years.  It ain't easy being me.

This is a letter I drafted to my almost ex-boyfriend, Andy Cohen.  If you don't know who Andy is, God bless you, you have a lot more sense than me.  You are excused, and may proceed to the next blog on your list.  Don't forget to come back, though.

***** 

Dear Andy,

I never thought I would ever even think of writing this kind of letter to you.  But, unfortunately, you leave me no choice.

Let me just say it.  I think that I want to break up with you.  I know we have a lot of history together - from Jill Zarin to Vicky Gunvalson, from New York to Beverly Hills with a brief stint in DC.  Good or bad, I have stoically stuck by your side.

First of all, let me start by saying it's not you, it's them.  The reason for my change of heart entirely centers around this year's season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  To say I was bitterly disappointed with this season, is a gross understatement.

I think you should have changed the name of the show from RHOBH to The Kim and Kyle Show.  You allowed these two crackadoodle sisters to literally hijack the show this season.  Every episode centered around Kim's behavior and everyone else's reaction to her antics.  Even Brandi took a back seat; something I never thought possible.

Some hard-hitting questions for you....

Could we not have seen more scenes with Yolanda and her gorgeous home?  Or maybe, just one more gander into that state-of-the-art fridge?  Maybe peek into her closet and get a final total of the exact amount of white jeans she owns?  How about more scenes of Yo and Mauricio looking at bazillion dollar houses?  By the way, I sensed some chemistry there.

What about more time over at Lisa and Harry's casa?  Maybe we could have seen her slip into her Depends while mumbling the F-word for the umpteenth time.  Why not more awkward moments with their entitled, spoiled girls?  I feel cheated.

But instead we put our energy into trying to figure out what big secret Kim had on Harry.  Who cares?

And poor Eileen.  I don't think she spoke eight words during the entire reunion due to the sparring sisters.  How come there were no scenes with her cute hubby on the tennis courts in some short shorts?  Instead, we got to see him looking out a garage window, like a deer in headlights witnessing one of Kim and Kyle's cat fights. 

 Why didn't you have Eileen host a game night with the in-laws - the Dick Van Pattens?  And why not include Brandi for a round of truth or dare?  Brandi could ask Eileen one more time if she and Vince cheated on their former spouses with each other.  It would make for some awkward family moments!!    

I'm not so sure Eileen will be renewing her contract after that roller coaster ride in the Kim and Kyle car.

I've never seen Lisa V so well behaved as this season.  She certainly kept her head down and her powder dry.  It was probably because she couldn't get a word in edgewise.  I'm not disappointed that there were few scenes with creepy Ken and pampered Pandora.  But Andy, no meaty juicy scenes with Giggy?  Was he demanding more $$?  Getting too full of himself?

FYI...Brandi borrowed this dress from me.

Brandi was the enabler of this hijacking by the K & K duo.  Nobody loves to stir the pot more than Brandi.  I love how she sits back during the never-ending reunion segment with a sly, so glad their not picking on me smile.  

I would have even appreciated more scenes with Brandi away from the group.  Perhaps next season she could be nominated for the Mary Kay Letourneau Award?

I'm not going to waste my time and energy talking about Kim and Kyle because as far as I'm concerned, they have received way too much air time.  I am not here to feed the beast.

Now that I have gotten that off my chest, I have decided not to break up with you for one reason.

  

Until next time...