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Sunday, October 21, 2012

RHONJ

Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen,

My name is Katie Clooney and I am a compulsive Real Housewives addict.  I do not discriminate - I'll watch those crazy ladies from any city.  

Don't judge me.  I get enough of that at home from the Mister as he strolls into the room, looks at the TV and shakes his head disapprovingly and asks (for the second time this week) whether Real Housewives is on seven days a week.  No, I tell him impatiently -this is a marathon and it should be over within the next 12 hours.

I sat through three veerrry long, loud hours of Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion show.  Not for myself - for you, my readers, so that I could report on it.  It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it.

 
Tre - where do I begin?  Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any crazier - you surprise me! You managed to alienate every one of the other crazies on the show.  I even noticed the fear in Andy's eyes that you were going to smack him again!  The whole cast has agreed that they would not film with you again.  My suggestion is this:  you either find somebody to produce the "Crazy Teresa and Out of Control Joe Show" or you rifle through Kathy's kitchen drawers and find some more of her mother's recipes and write another cookbook.  Oh and one more piece of advice - get a divorce.  If you believe Joe was on a call to a guy who works at a pizza parlor -  I've got a Zumba studio in Maine you can invest in.


Caroline - you are the self-appointed matriarch of the RHONJ.  You always want to appear the "voice of reason and concern" on the show.  I don't feel that way though - I feel you are a self-serving opportunist.  You have a great family.  I know it's tough being an empty nester but you have a lot of good things to say and do.  Take the energy from stirring the pot and holding grudges and put it towards something useful like selling "black water" at Trade Days or write a blog.


  

Melissa - you are one of my favorites... and not because of your music. You'll never find "On Display .. On Display" on my I tunes.  The reason that I like you is that you understand that your hubby feels that family is of utmost importance and you know that he is hurting about his relationship with his psycho sis.  I think you might be a bit self-involved but your heart is in the right place.

 



Jacqueline... you were a victim of Teresa's antics but I can't help but say you were quite a little instigator yourself. I'm sure you are a nice person and I know you are facing challenges with your sweet son. If you asked me my advice I would tell you to take the energy that you have put into the filming of the show and put it towards your son and family.

 

Kathy - I know you put some $$ into your nose job and highlights but I have to be honest... I thought you looked better before.  I think that you are the most sensitive of the housewives and have the nicest family.  My advice... get off the show and do what your heart is telling you... open a bakery or catering business. 




Last but certainly not least...   



Who knew that after all the talk about who was the ex-stripper on the show it turned out to be...




 Joe Gorgalicous!

I almost feel sacrilegious posting this today
but have a great Sunday!



 
Katie Clooney
Katie Clooney

I'm Katie. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am an empty nester meandering through my middle-aged years while entangled in the never-ending process of renovating an antique home on the South Shore of Massachusetts. I love to write about books, movies, TV, celebrities, decorating, and weekend adventures. My favorite writing material is derived from my family: the Mister, my girls, #1 and #2, and my two untrainable, rambunctious pups, Chowdah and Chili.

1 comment:

  1. Love this!!! I am a self confessed addict myself..I cannot lie. That reunion show....OMG! Have you ever? If I didnt' know better I would have sworn this was a big spoof on America but sadly its real.
    Funny I am totally board with each of your sentiments regarding this cast of characters. Except on Jacqueline, I dont' really think shes an instigator but just has reached her threshhold and finally acting out against all she has bottled up. I think shes a sweet very non confrontational person at heart whos been pushed by the beyond crazy antics of nutjob Teresa (who has the strangest hairline and at times looks like a transvestite). She is scary with a captial S in both the looks and personality/rage dept.
    Caroline the poster child for an adult bully...thinks she knows it all but certainly does not. I do give her credit though for raising a very close knit pretty together family. I can see they all adore each other and thats always a beautiful thing.
    I like Melissa too.....she doesn't try to be anything she is not and you have to love seeing how in love she and Joe are. Agree about Kathy...they have it togehter and shes the most in control and smartest, I believe.
    I literally am speechless over how to comment on Teresa and Joe (aka troll man). Seriously they literally turn my stomach. There simply are no words. Sad sad sad.
    Great post!

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