Tuesday, October 30, 2012

RHHONY

Here I go with another guilty pleasure post.  Another Real Housewives season.... another post of random silly thoughts.  Let's begin with the cast of crazies characters.

Come on down....
 
 
 
Aviva the Diva
 
 
In the beginning of the season Aviva, I really liked you.  I respected you (as much as I could of any of the housewives).  I empathized with your childhood trauma and tried to understand your multiple phobias.  And then came St. Barth's.  You virtually turned into a complete narcissistic whack-a -doodle!  
 
 
Your most darling bazillionaire hubby flies you down to the Islands in a private jet, holds your hand every mile of the way, and you turn into an absolute nutzilla when you arrive at the gorgeous home with the in-house sexy Chef??  Granted, the inmates had taken over the asylum, but that should be no surprise to you after dealing with this crew in NYC. 
 
 
Granted, you have to deal with George's antics.  My Sista and I empathize... we have got one just like him.
 
 
Classy Carol
 
 
 
 Ohhh Carole... you are the star of the season in my heart.  I read your book waaaay before you become a RHONY and I loved it.  You are a prolific writer and seem to be a very nice person.  So what's a nice girl like you doing in a reality show like this?
 
 
 Haughty Heather
 
 
Heather.... I have the hardest time remembering  your name because you do not look like a "Heather" to me.  When I am discussing you with my girls, we call you "yummy tummy."  In the beginning you came on like gangbusters working as hard as you could getting under Ramona's skin.  I really got a kick out of how you could bait her and how Ramona would snap at you like a rabid Chihuahua.  
You are a veeeery successful business woman.  I get it.  You don't have to keep telling everyone.  I will say that you were very kind to help Sonja with her easy bake toaster oven ad campaign.  You did your best to find a sexy "J" for her signature. 
If I were you, I would go home and count all the dough you have made out of selling your slimming products to suckers like me and retire from the spotlight.
 
Cocky Countess
 
 
Countess, to be honest, I am very surprised to see that you made the cut to come back this season.  My favorite clip featuring you was not a segment of RHONY.  It happened on Watch What Happens Live when Andy showed a two minute tape of you trying to "one up" every one of the housewives. 
Countess, you certainly did not like the fact that Carole was brought on the show to invade your royal territory!  And what were you thinking when you had a fling with Tomas (silent "s")practically right on camera?  How do you say "I made a fool of myself in front of the whole world" in French? 
I think this might be your last season whether it is your choice or Andy's.  Go design your shoe line and walk away from the cameras with the little dignity you have left.
 
Screwball Sonja
 
 
  Sonja with a "sexy" J.  Where do I begin?  For all the drinking you do, you are still a beautiful woman.  I don't know who your doctor is but I need his number pronto!  At times, the camera catches you and you could be a double for Streisand.  Sorry, Barbra, I'm sure you are not flattered. 
Anyway, you are in a quandary because ex sugar daddy is cutting down on your allowance.  I don't think that brainstorm of easy bake toaster ovens is going to return you to the life you have become accustomed.  My advice to you is to leave the show and concentrate on finding victim husband number 2 and Sonja - for gosh sakes... ditch Ramona!
 
You two remind me of
 
Cinderella's Two Crazy Drunken Stepsisters
 
And last but certainly not least...
 
Ramoner
 
 
Ramoner.... the only nice thing I can say is that my feelings for you have never changed throughout the seasons.  You are as crazy now as you were during the first episode.  I will give you a warning though.  There is someone in the background that is dying to take your place.  This person tries to snatch as much camera time from you as possible.  So beware that you are not replaced by...
 
  
 Malicious Mario
 
 
 
In closing, I pose one question to all my fellow RHONY Sista Fans...
 
 
What gentleman was referred to the most this season by the housewives and yet only made one cameo appearance?
 
 
Hot to Trot Harry!
 
 Harry, all I can say is you must have an awful lot of cashola to get all that action! 
 
Happy Tuesday!
 
 
  


4 comments:

  1. Hope all your family in the NE is ok after the storm. Mine are all fine, though some don't have power.

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  2. Just discovered your blog, luvz it! As for the RDrunkHW's, NYC chapta, I'm tracking completely! IMO, Saucedja is more Glenn Close than Babs. Time for LouMann & Ramoaner to retire and coughee with Jill. I'm ready for BH already now. TTFN

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  3. Couldn't have said it better myself!! Ramoner needs to be booted off the RHWONY,she is truly what us Southerners call "white trash",and all I can say is,bless her heart!! Great post!!

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  4. Oh.MY.Stars!!! You certainly nailed the cast of characters perfectly!! But, I must admit the RHWONY are my favorite. Have you watched NJ? Talk about trashy!

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