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Monday, November 16, 2015

Real Housewives of Orange County

Hello, dear friends.  I just got back from the great state of Texas.  The Mister did an excellent job holding down the fort.  If you don't watch the Real Housewives of Orange County, I don't blame you.  You have a lot more sense than I do.  

I began this post a few weeks ago, even before the reunion or Brooks' catastrophic interview with Andy.   Neither show changed my opinion.





The ladies looked even more plucked, puckered, and pulled this season.  I didn't realize it until they showed some scenes from past seasons at the reunion.  It's no wonder the Dubrow's are rolling in dough.


These are my thoughts concerning the Vicky/Brooks debacle.  With Briana living in Oklahoma, Vicky found herself without a story line.  And we all know that the story line is as essential as botox, boob jobs, and Manolo Blahnik's to the Housewives.



My feeling is that Vicky and Brooks were in cahoots inventing the cancer tale.  Tamra found out about it and set up the psychotic psychic to plant the story in the empty minds of the Housewives.




I really don't think that Vicky and Brooks thought that they would ever get caught.  They probably thought that this cancer story would create sympathy from the viewers.  Vicky even admitted that during the reunion. 



As we know, it backfired, and there was no sympathy to be found.  My thoughts are that Brooks threatened to give the story to the tabloids and Vicky is paying him off to keep his trap shut and stay out of site in the Sunshine State. 



Another Housewife who found herself sans a story line was Tamra.  She could not use her kids because Simple Simon put the kibosh on it.  What else could scheming Tamra do to keep the viewers interested?  She's already met her quota of boob jobs that Bravo allows.  Remember the year that the viewers were privileged to watch her emotional journey of having the implants removed?  And with all the class that she could muster, Tamra gifted Andy one of the implants to display in the club house.  Oh Lawd, this broad is desperate!




Wasn't he on Growing Pains?
   
What is Tamra to do?  She becomes a Christian, of course.  She contacts a "pasture" who by the way, looked like he came directly from Central Casting.  We were lucky enough to see the new, improved Tamra reinventing herself through the season.  Or did we?  She certainly talked about it enough.
  



Eddie comes in second for the Least Interested Husband award this year.  Do you remember when he would get turned on just watching Tamra peel an onion?  Now he can't even make eye contact with her.  

Next season's story line:  Tamra and Eddie go to couples therapy with Pasture Mike and start their own church exclusively for people who have braved the walk of plastic surgery procedures.


I
Next up is - Is Nothing Sacred Shannon.  Is there nothing private in Shannon and David's marriage?  I think the oddest scene of the whole season took place when David and Shannon wrote eulogies for each other.  David did not look quite as sad as Shannon did reading her eulogy for David.  But then again, David strikes me as a walking ad for Xanax - no facial expressions, no emotion, no personality. Just one fruit loop of a wife.



David gets the Deer in the Headlights award.  I don't think the guy blinked his eyes the whole season.



I admit to watching a few scenes featuring Meghan more than once.  The only reason I did that was because I thought I was losing my hearing.  I would think did she really say that or she did what?

What Meghan lacks in brains, she makes up for in chutzpah.  Can you imagine calling someone else's clinic to research whether it administers certain procedures?  Meghan should use her researching energy and figure out why her husband looks like he smelling something rancid whenever he is within ten feet or her.

My gut tells me that Meghan will not be asked back next season.  Maybe Bravo can give her an investigative medical show looking into whether a patient is sick or faking.  They could come up with a clever title like "Ail or Fail."



First place award winner for Least Interested Husband.  This photo captures Jimmy thinking "please don't make me go back to her."  I don't agree with Vicky much, but I do when it comes to these two not making all nine innings when it comes to their marriage.






And then last but not least, there is Heather Do-know it all.   Sure, I think I could turn into a bubbly, over-animated, smiling Stepford wife who is a virtual expert on everything too if I had all that cashola simmering in the bank.  And let's just say being married to a plastic surgeon doesn't hurt either.   That is, of course, if you're not being sucked by leeches.   But besides being bazillionaires, this plastic Ozzie and Harriet are beginning to get pretty darn boring - insert Vicky's snoring sound.





Hey, Andy... I've got an idea to pitch to you for next season.  How about if Heather and Terry open up their forty-thousand-square-foot home to Tamra's loser son and family?  And why not Ryan and Briana and their little nose-pickers, as well?  And I'm sure there's enough room for Vicky's other clueless kid, too!   If Terry and Heather can be sucked by leeches, they can surely deal with a little multi-family drama.  Now that's what I call a story line.

I am counting the minutes until next season.

What was your favorite scene of this season?



Until next time...




Princess of Beverly Hills


Katie Clooney
Katie Clooney

I'm Katie. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am an empty nester meandering through my middle-aged years while entangled in the never-ending process of renovating an antique home on the South Shore of Massachusetts. I love to write about books, movies, TV, celebrities, decorating, and weekend adventures. My favorite writing material is derived from my family: the Mister, my girls, #1 and #2, and my two untrainable, rambunctious pups, Chowdah and Chili.

21 comments:

  1. I watched and most of the time was talking back to the tv - so I ask myself why do I watch? I believed Brooks had cancer for longer than I should have, but I still think Vicki believed it at first, but found out during the season and kept the lie going. My blood still boils at the gang up mentality of other women (I call them the 4 witches) towards Vicki. It is obvious she is depressed about her Mother and was under some kind of control (abuse?) from Brooks, so show a little compassion towards your friend no matter what they thick she did.

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  2. Katie
    Your assessment of the OC is right on, but even so I had to watch! Kind of feel sorry for Vickie, she seems a bit desperate to have someone. Meghan just drove me down right crazy! The rest of the women I'll leave to you!
    Rebecca

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  3. The RHOOC is the only one I watch (well, sometimes the Beverly Hills one too) but Bravo is out on our cable and I did not see this season. Thanks for the recap! Sounds like there is still a whole lot of crazy in SoCal!

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  4. Katie, I am sorry to say I have stopped watching. now that does not mean I couldn't get sucked into it again just to remind me what normal is compared to this group! You are spot on though, they need to get some new storylines and drama!

    xoxo
    Karena
    The Arts by Karena

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  5. Katie, sorry to say that I do not watch tv often, except the news and movies and have never seen the housewives, however one could not miss their stories because they are on the news. Strange group of ladies.

    Hope you had a fabulous time in Texas!

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  6. Okay- I so wish I could say I am not watching- but I so am!! What is it about these women that draw me into their lives? I have to say your idea that Brooks and Vicki were in cahoots and made up the whole cancer story is intriguing... it hadn't occurred to me... but your point of how boring it could otherwise be is so true! Loved reading your take on everything- and so glad I am not watching alone!

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  7. Those women are a little crazy, aren't they! I must say that OC is much better than ATL! Thanks for the update!

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  8. You need to script this show! Your take on it is perfect! I did think the whole Tamra and her "Pasture" was too much. Vicki is certifiable. I turned off the reunion show and vowed not to watch the show again when she admitted to calling her daughter horrible names and treating her poorly. You don't throw your daughter and your friends under the bus to get more sympathy for a fake story about your loathsome boyfriend. She is gross and pathetic. On the flip side, I know someone who worked for Eddie at his gym and he said he's a really nice guy.

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  9. Oh boy, color me stupid, I thought the Orange County show and the Beverly Hills show were the same show........

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  10. oh my where do i start? since i read the forum in Previously TV (HW of OC) you pretty much said what other viewers are thinking. It was really uncomfortable watching the Brooks tell all mess, it was obviously he wasn't tell the truth about his "cancer" situation.....I still don't know what to think. But I don't think he's on his death bed and like you, I think he's got something on the OG of the OC. As for Tamra, the sooner she's off my TV isn't soon enough and there's something about Eddie that creeps me out! Don't even get me started on Meagan and headbands and her non-existant relationship with Jim, Jim Edmonds. I hope I never see creepy Ryan, Tamra's son. Also, please don't bring back Vickie's daughter and her raging husband. Heather and her hotel (I mean house)....not impressed. Well, that's all I've got for now. But I do love me some Housewives shows!

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  11. Katie, I have checked out the various HW, but my guilty pleasure is those twirling Souhern Belles of RHOA. Oh my! Drama in the state known for peaches is now known as the state for, well being a Southern Lady I will just stop there and let you fill in the blank. I feel like I should confess. Hello, my name is Maxine and I watch RHOA faithfully. Mr. Kime, my Junior English teacher just had a spell.

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  12. Darn, this full-time job gig keeps me out of the know with all the pertinent life events on the RHOC...thanks for the update.

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  14. Wow. Nice to know that someone else is wasting hours of their life watching this crap. I hate that I watch it, yet I cannot stop. Like driving by the accident dealio....
    My theory: Vickie is so insecure in her own body, soul, mind and family. She puts this huge front up about her being an independent powerful woman. WooooHooooo. But she is anything but. She may make good money in the insurance business but she doesn't have one independent bone in her body. And that's why she MUST have a man in her life. For show. So everyone will think she has this perfect life....but man, oh man is it anything BUT perfect. She wants to control. To dominate. her relationships and her family. I think she has allowed that punk of a man named brooks to completely abuse her...verbally and emotionally. And because of her insecurities, she is not strong enough to get out. For such a control freak....she is completely out of control!
    I actually have spent the whole season analyzing the crazies on this show and trying to figure out if all of it IS real or just all an act.... CRAZYASSCRAZY, I TELL YA. MAKE ME STOP WATCHING!!
    and did ya see how nervous brooks was in the interview with andy? so obvious he was lying about everything. not sure I've ever seen anyone who has cancer and undergoing treatment look as healthy and tanned as he does.
    MAKE ME STOP WATCHING!!!!

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  15. I watch just enough to keep up with what is going on. I did miss the Vicky/Brooks debacle. I will have to catch up on that!

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  16. OMG this was soooo funny and SO spot. L is for loser, and what Brooks did is the lowest of the low but all of them are a turnoff for different reasons. I do admit to watching here and there (lost full on interest some time ago) but they are just so full of drama and baggage, and hatred for one another. They make the average 16 year old gossipy high school girl look like an innocent little lamb! S C A R Y!
    Brooks is super creepy (but then again so is Terry) lol. Bravo must be getting desperate...I think they need to hire YOU for some much needed intervention...its a 911 at this point!

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  17. Hahahaha!!! Loved your synopsis of this year!! Spot on! I record this RH show and watch in the bedroom while the football games are on. I want to be Andy Cohen in my next life! :)

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  18. You are TALKING over my head!I have NEVER watched any of these shows!BUT I am certain your story line would be a HIT!

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  19. I LOVE your Real Housewives recaps!! Initially I thought that Meghan was crazy for investigating Brooks - but as the season progressed, I realized that she was onto something. Vicky acted oddly on the reunion show - no wonder Andy asked her if she had taken Xanax beforehand. I'm not positive that she knew Brooks was lying - but probably. I've never like condescending Heather, especially after she kicked traumatized Shannon out of her house when she came over to inquire about Heather discussing her cheating husband in public.

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  20. I am totally hooked on the RHOOC! You nailed everything from start to finish! Vicki and Brooks planned the whole cancer story to put the spotlight back on Vicki. Oddly enough, at the end of the season, Meghan ended up being one of my faves.

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  21. Absolutely spot-on analysis of this train wreck of a season. So many tough to watch scenes: the eulogy/therapy scene, Shannon's 50th birthday party dinner, any scene with Jimmy and Meghan, any scene with Brooks, etc. Through it all, though, I still watch, will continue to watch and still love Heather and Terry.

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