Hello, dear friends.
I hope this post finds you and your loved ones well.
Our Newlyweds were going to leave us the first of the week, but they decided to wait until this weekend to make their journey back to their home in NYC.
That leaves the Mister and me. I've read a few articles about the effects of quarantine on a marriage. Just like anything else, they can be positive or detrimental. Or maybe a little of both. Like many couples, we have never spent so much time together. For the most part, things are going pretty well, except for a few bumps in the road.
I took the time out of my incredibly busy schedule to jot down some helpful tips for the Mister. He gave me the okay to share them with you.
If you wake up before 6AM, do not ask me if I'm still sleeping.
Just assume I am.
Just assume I am.
Mister, I get that you are a "morning" person, but if you could take your cheeriness level down about 85%, it would be much appreciated.
Or at least wait until I've had my 9th cup of coffee.
Or at least wait until I've had my 9th cup of coffee.
No need to give me a play-by-play of your workout.
I hear your grunting and heavy breathing two floors away.
No more repetitive jokes like "where are we going to lunch?" when no restaurant is open for two hundred miles.
And you can skip the side-eye swipes like "you look nice" when I'm still wearing my coffee-stained robe accompanied by matted hair and day-old mascara.
It is not necessary to rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher that I just loaded.
Next time you do that, I will let the dogs lick your plate clean.
It's not necessary to ask me where I am going when I leave the room.
I can't go far.
I'm in quarantine.
I can't go far.
I'm in quarantine.
Limiting our exposure to people does not mean three trips to Lowes a day.
When you bring junk food home, hide it.
You need to be more creative with your hiding places.
It only took me nine and a half hours to find the last batch.
No need to check on me 8 times a day.
I have nowhere to go.
I'm in quarantine.
If you walk into a room and I am watching TV, don't ask me what is going on in the show or a rundown on every character and a synopsis of the past ten seasons.
If you stand over my shoulder and see that I am looking at clothes, jewelry, or makeup, please do not sigh loudly and ask me what I'm going to buy.
I've told you numerous times -
blogging takes a lot of tedious research.
Last but not least...
When the Amazon or UPS truck pulls into the driveway, try to refrain from giving me the evil eye and asking me what I bought.
If you must know, I have volunteered to take in our neighbors' packages and disinfect them.
They are stored in my closet for safekeeping.
They are stored in my closet for safekeeping.
I then distribute the pristine merchandise to our neighbors' homes during the night while you are snoring.
*****
Mister, I trust that you will take these suggestions to heart and will jump on the self-improvement bandwagon with the same vigor and enthusiasm that you display as when you step into Lowes.
How's quarantine going for you?
Until next time...
Linking up with:
BFF Open House
Best of the Weekend
Friday at the Firehouse
Your Whyms Wednesday
Keep In Touch
Wonderful Wednesday
A Little Bit of Everything
Party In Your PJs
Wonderful Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday
Keep In Touch
Classy Flamingos
*****
Mister, I trust that you will take these suggestions to heart and will jump on the self-improvement bandwagon with the same vigor and enthusiasm that you display as when you step into Lowes.
How's quarantine going for you?
Until next time...
Linking up with:
BFF Open House
Friday at the Firehouse
Your Whyms Wednesday
Keep In Touch
Wonderful Wednesday
A Little Bit of Everything
Party In Your PJs
Wonderful Wednesday
Wonderful Wednesday
Keep In Touch
Classy Flamingos
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I feel your pain on so many of these. Especially the early mornings and the dad jokes.
ReplyDeleteI'm still laughing! I have a chatty Don in the morning. aah! The snacks, the checking in, the looking over my shoulder, and the Dishwasher!!! That has been a constant in our almost 50 years, and I remember my F-I-L doing the same thing! I hope my boys don't do these to their ladies.
ReplyDeleteFor a moment I thought I wrote this post!!
ReplyDeleteYou are too funny!! I was laughing out loud! They are all so true!!!
ReplyDeleteLove this!! Sounds like all husbands are the same!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! I love it! There are a few that certainly resonate with me and my husband. Hope you are well and that you enjoyed the newlyweds.
ReplyDeleteThank you for making us laugh. I shared this with my hubby and had fun with it.
ReplyDeleteLove this! Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the giggles!! A little pity for all of our men during this quarantine! LOL
ReplyDeleteThis was great and I definitely needed a chuckle or two. We did get a change of scenery by going to Oklahoma last Friday and stayed 5 days with those adorable Grandsons. It was a much needed trip for sure. Now, if our governor will set us free, I'll be a happy camper, especially when I can get this head of hair trimmed/cut. Happy weekend!
ReplyDeleteThe first few weeks of retirement are a lot like this too. It all worked itself out after I made my point - you can’t ask me who, what, when, where and why about all the things! Now here we are again lol. But the where answer is easy - nowhere!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, YES! Glad to know I'm not alone! :)
ReplyDeleteSo funny! My husband has reporting to work as usual (or actually working more hours than usual) so I can't say I have any of this to contend with but I completely get where you're coming from. He already comments on the seemingly daily packages from Amazon!
ReplyDeleteAt the end of our walks my Mister always asks, would you like to go somewhere for coffee and a muffin? Yes dear but it will have to be take out. Then I get "they'll make an exception for us". Other than that, his only complaint was he didn't like the cherry syrup I used in his bourbon cocktail. We should all be so lucky.
ReplyDeleteOh, Katie, this is hilarious! You are a sharp student of (male) human nature!
ReplyDeleteThis gave me the laugh I needed sweet Katie! Safe travels to the kids and I hope you have a beautiful Mother’s Day!
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny! great post!
ReplyDeleteWe just had a conversation yesterday about my husband's constant "work or anything status" updates. And, he is so dang cheery all day. Love this list Katie! You nailed it! Where's that Dear Katie advice column? xo stay healthy!
ReplyDeletePS I just got one of the wine glasses you featured in your Mother's Day post last week! Dropping off on my sister-in-law's front porch today! xo laura
ReplyDeleteFun post! The looking over my shoulder is probably the most annoying in my world right now. But then I ask myself, "How would I feel if he wasn't here to look over my shoulder?"
ReplyDelete90 Day Fiance the Other Way Pillow Talk is my guilty pleasure. And the only other husband tip I can add: Please do not monitor and comment on what I eat, especially during the quarantine. I'm glad that the kids will be with you to celebrate Mother's Day.
ReplyDelete#PREACH
ReplyDeleteI was going to respond with only #AMEN, but I clicked your link and ended up at your blog! I finally had to stop reading because my break is long over, but oh my! You are a fabulous writer and I think I laughed out loud maybe 10 times as I read! I didn't see anything newer than 2018, but I hope you've published your novel. I'm going to go back and read Chapter 1 later. Thank you for the serious entertainment this morning. And thanks to Katie's hysterical blog post for introducing you to me! Take care and stay safe!
DeleteI am laughing with you!
DeleteOMG your mister and my mister have many of the same "traits". The reloading of the dishwasher, being as loud as possible when awakening, hmmmm what else...This was hilarious! I am sharing!
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣 OMG, yes! You speak the truth. In a hilarious way, of course. Will our marriages survive? That is the question. 😳
ReplyDeleteI could relate to your post this morning Katie. I love my husband and I am getting used to retirement but it is a miracle we are both still here.lol I am sure I do things that get on his nerves as well. At least here in Alabama we can get out and about a bit but we are still being cautious as we are elderly.lol
ReplyDeleteKatie you continue to crack me up! I LOVE this list - not to mention the post title! �� You are so observant! Take care out there and good luck with quarantine!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious. I love it!! Happy Weekend!
ReplyDeleteThis is great, Katie. So funny and we all need a laugh. Rick and I are lucky to live in two houses two blocks apart so we are definitely distancing (even though we see each other daily, if from several feet apart.) But in many ways we are closer than ever. Maybe because we realize that time can be more brief than we ever thought or hoped. It's the time to max out every possible moment. Well, at least so far!
ReplyDeleteOH MY GOSH! Every single scenario!!! 🙄😂
ReplyDeleteOh my heavens, Katie...I just laughed all the way through this! I relate the most to this...”Mister, I get that you are a “morning” person, but if you could take your cheeriness level down about 85%, it would be much appreciated. Or at least wait until I've had my 9th cup of coffee.” Although I can’t complain too much because my mister keeps refilling my coffee cup in between the segments of his morning workouts in the living room and always asks if he should brew another pot when I reach the bottom of the first one. Thanks for sharing this fun read and linking up with me. I do think that we are doing better than many couples in quarantine!
ReplyDeleteShelbee
www.shelbeeontheedge.com
I found myself laughing and nodding along as I read. :)
ReplyDeleteLove that you’re collecting your “neighbors” packages. ;) how thoughtful of you. Hahahhhha!
Oh Katie! Can we talk? I feel no need to announce I am going outside and he does not need to tell me. He went for a walk the other day and called me from his cell phone to tell me he was home sitting on the front porch. Ok. I have just surrendered the dishwasher to him. He can have it. My Mister sleeps in ver late in the morning. Yay you might say. He stays up at night (late) watching movies with very little dialogue and guns a blazing. Think war, cowboy movies. He is so lucky he has me. I still have my lovely personality and cheerful disposition. I’m sure I have not annoyed him at all.🤥
ReplyDeleteI have only one thought...DEAD. I tell ya, if this quarantine is not over soon...DEAD, I tell ya!! And prolly won’t be the corona virus that does it. It will be the wife of 43 yrs virus that does it!
ReplyDeleteAs soon as possible, I’m going on a very long trip. Alone.
You hit on my two BIG ONES--Where are you going? For God's sake- we are in a condo that is an open plan (kinda)--where in the bloody blue blazes do you THINK I am going?! And #2--What are you watching---What is it---Who is that person---did they murder someone---What--What is 90 day fiance? OMG- GET A LIFE---in another room!!!!! lol xo Diana
ReplyDeleteOh yes to the Lowes issue! But worst of all, I have found myself mimicking Leslie Jordan and saying "Oh s--t, what's ya doin'? Now, that's getting bad!
ReplyDeleteTHE DISHWASHER!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYES, HE REARRANGES EVERYTHING!!!
I'M BEGINNING to worry about MYSELF!
HUSBAND IS IN AND OUT SO GOOD TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION!
NO PROBLEMS THERE!
Oh my can I relate! I have to be nice though since he is also my nurse at the moment. Can’t do anything cause my right arm is in a sling from my shoulder replacement. Keep these funny posts coming and thanks for the visit..Janey
ReplyDeleteMy husband is retired and I'm working from home, so I find it works well if we keep out of each other's way (except for occasional walks) except for meal times! Good to see you at #WowOnWednesday.
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny! I needed a laugh. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLOLOL this was hilarious!!!! Many of those same things are happening here. And I laughed out loud at the Lowes post....my son is head of the plumbing department at our local Lowes and he doesn't know a thing about plumbing lolol!!!!
ReplyDelete