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Monday, October 7, 2019

Mother of the Bride Notes



Hello, dear friends.  I hope that you enjoyed your weekend.  I spent Friday with some of my buddies taking in a plethora of eye candy.  I was going to share the photos with you today, but unfortunately, I have had technical difficulties.  The story of my life.  I should have the post on by next week.

Towards the end of last Spring, many people were asking me whether I had purchased my Mother of the Bride dress.  I had looked half-heartedly online for a few months and became very discouraged.  I knew what I didn't want, I just didn't know what I actually wanted.

During the first weeks of my Summer Sabbatical, my first task on my to-do list was to find my MOB dress. No Bravo TV until I made a purchase. 


I made an appointment with a personal shopper at Neiman's.  I showed up bursting with optimism and a phone full of photos of dresses that I liked.  Liked not loved.  My personal shopper came out and introduced herself as Lucy.  She was about 25 years old and dressed from head to toe in Chanel.  Not the stunning Chanel, the stuff with the letter "C" all over it.  Her clothes were covered in the signature "C" as well as her jewelry and shoes. There was no way that crap stuff was real.  

Lucy also featured a look of boredom.  I showed her the photos that I chose on Neiman's website.  She told me that I should order some of them and have them delivered to the store.  I could then drive into Boston and try them on there and order through her.  

I was born at night, but not last night, Lucy.  
She had one thought in mind: easy commission.



I then asked Miss Chanel if they had any dresses on the floor that she could suggest.  She glanced at her Chanel watch, sighed, and led the way to the floor.  She then asked me what I don't like.  I told her that I can't wear yellow and I don't want to show too much crepey skin.  Lucy looked at her Chanel watch again, as if it would give her some divine inspiration and told me to go into the dressing room.  She would bring me some dresses. 


Not the exact dress, but you get the idea.

 I waited patiently, and Coco Lucy entered with a bright yellow dress that was practically backless, featuring what looked like feathers on it.  I then looked around the room in search of a candid camera with Ashton Kutcher behind it.  I was sure that I was being punked.

At this point, I was out of patience.  I told counterfeit Coco that I was not interested in that dress, and I would look somewhere else.  

That was the first and last time that I saw Coco smile.



My next stop was Saks Fifth Avenue.  I went to the top floor where the designers had separated areas - almost like glamourized stalls.  There wasn't a salesperson in sight, and the inventory was limited.  Had Counterfeit Coco called ahead and warned them about me?  The designers had everything from leather jeans to one or two pieces of formal wear.  There was not one item that I was interested in.


I headed towards the mall again.  I called the Mister and told him how discouraged I was getting.  I asked him if he could bribe #1 and AJ to elope.  He pretended not to hear me and suggested that I try that Caroline whats-her-name store.  

I entered Carolina Herrera with desperation spilling out of my pores.  I was approached by a smiling young lady named Jojo.  I told her that I was in search of the perfect MOB dress.  She led me to the back of the store and there it was.  My perfect MOB dress was hanging on a hook calling my name.  And guess what!  It was my size!  I tried it on and loved it even more.  I swear that I could hear angels singing Halleluiah from the heavens.   


Here's a peek.  Do I look happy or what?  There was one problem, though.  The dress was sold.  My girl, Jojo, got on the case and found one across the country.  Two weeks later, I was back for alterations.  


The Mister took me out for lunch to celebrate.  
I don't think I have ever felt more relieved in my life.

*****

Now that I had checked the dress off my list, I had a few other things to tend to.  The first was my eyelashes.  I talked my eye doctor into prescribing Latisse for me.  That stuff is not cheap.  I picked it up and then went online to find out how to apply it.  I started reading about the possible side effects.  Many people claimed that it could give blue eyes brown speckles. Why didn't I read this before I picked it up? My eyes are the last thing to go, so I have to take care of them.  I decided not to use it.

I thought about lash extensions but I didn't think that I was a candidate for them because the littlest thing bothers me.  Ask the Mister.  So off to Sephora I went to ask the experts.



Where do they come up with these crazy names?  I tried the mascara and it was way too clumpy for me so I returned it.  Sista had the same experience.  The lady then suggested a Lancome mascara.  I tried that, but I wasn't crazy about it.   

I even consulted professional ways of applying the mascara.  It turns out that I've been doing it wrong all these years.  It's no wonder I couldn't get a modeling contract!


Coincidentally, my decorator wrote me a note yesterday and wished me luck with the wedding.  She also told me that her daughter and her wedding party all used Diorshow waterproof mascara and they all were very pleased. I'm picking one up this weekend. 

So if you use a waterproof mascara that you love, please leave a comment for me.  Time is running out and I need your help.




I also have been spending time with my favorite youtube coach on taking a flattering photo.  





By the way, I just came across another video of Dominique's in which she was singing the praises of thrive mascara.  It's not waterproof but I ordered it anyway.
Has anyone tried it? 



And last but not least, I could use your advice.  If you have ever been a Mother of the Bride, Mother of the Groom, in a wedding party, attended one as a guest, or watched one on TV and have some good old fashion advice or a good story for a first time Mother of the Bride I would love to hear it.  
I can use all the help I can get.


Until next time...





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Preppy Empty Nester
Preppy Empty Nester

I'm Katie. Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am an empty nester meandering through my middle-aged years while entangled in the never-ending process of renovating an antique home on the South Shore of Massachusetts. I love to write about books, movies, TV, celebrities, decorating, and weekend adventures. My favorite writing material is derived from my family: the Mister, my girls, #1 and #2, and my two untrainable, rambunctious pups, Chowdah and Chili.

37 comments:

  1. Only one piece of advice: get shoes that are comfortable enough that you can be on your feet for hours. My feet were bleeding when I took the shoes off the night of my daughter's wedding. I got smarter for my son's wedding and wore gold sandals from a comfort brand. They could have been a tad more glamorous but my feet sure were happier.

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  2. You are so funny! I love reading your blog all the way from Arkansas! Your blog truly makes my day.

    You have wonderful taste and I can't wait to see pics of the wedding. I know it will be beautiful.

    Good Luck!
    Milisa

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  3. I have been MOB three times and each time was a great experience. We have always hired a beauty professional to do the entire wedding party's hair on the big day, but with my youngest daughter we also hired someone to do all of our make-up. It was so worth it! I also had eye lash extentions added for the first time that day. I LOVED them! I wish I had another occasion to wear them again.

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  4. I would agree with Maggie about the shoes. I found a wonderful kitten heel pump (winter wedding) and was so glad I had found a comfortable shoe. I actually didn't shed a tear. I honestly was so happy that it all went smoothly and the my daughter had found a wonderful guy who loved her. I surprised myself and shed no tears because generally I am a mess at sentimental stuff. The hard work is done now, just go enjoy the fun.
    I ended up purchasing the first dress I tried on even though I felt I needed to try on a hundred more to make sure it was the right one. I a little surprised at the Lucy girl. Obviously it was her first turn at this.

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  5. Katie, when our only child (son) married seven years ago, I had the same problem finding a dress. There was no local place that had anything, I didn’t want granny lace! I tried so many different places in different cities, nothing. I went on a business trip with the hubby to Denver, he drove me all over the city, absolutely nothing! I ended up finding a dress online from Neiman Marcus that when it arrived fit perfectly and I did not look like an old granny! I know your dress is fabulous, just enjoy the process. Your eyelashes will be fine ❤️

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  6. I had to laugh at CoCo. Why is it so hard to find a nice dress for a lady of mature years? I have my niece's wedding in November and I finally found something on QVC of all places. A Linea by Louis Del Orio. It has a black velvet bodice and a burgundy skirt. I love it. Perfect for an aunt of the bride. When I was the mother of the bride, I will tell you it goes by in a whirl. And frankly, I felt I did not get to enjoy the day as I had so many things to attend to. Be thankful for the destination wedding and pray that the people there have it all pulled together. I do have one funny story. My daughter was determined to walk down the aisle to the song, I'm a Believer...yes the old Monkees song. Well I was mortified but what could I do? The guy who was running the soundboard misplaced the cd and guess what? I just happened to have a Pachobel CD in my purse. God does answer some of our silliest prayers and I thank Him for it.:)

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  7. hysterical as always! can't wait to see the MOB dress. I use Thrive mascara and eyeliner and LOVE both! Mascara is not waterproof but, imo - stays pretty much put all day.
    Not sure about how it will hold up with MOB crying, however....:-)

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  8. Suspect it'll be years before I'm a MOB, Sis. However I have been AOB a few times now, does that count? Francine and I went dress hunting together for niece number 2's. After the shop assistant trotted out 47 woefully inappropriate pieces for me, Francine announced that she was taking control. Both she and the shop ass vanished, leaving me trapped in the latest sausage casing. I refused to expose the hideous outfit to the general public and struggled for 20 panicked minutes to grab ahold of the microscopic zipper pull. When Francine finally breezed in with the perfect dress, she had to extricate me from the nightmare. Lesson? Always step out of a sausage casing. Never, ever, pull it over your head.

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  9. You are such a tease! I'm eager to see all the wedding photos, so get that technical issue resolved, plaese! Happy Wedding Month!

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  10. I swear by Thrive mascara!! It is my every day got to. When I first started using it I got so many “ your eyes looks pretty! I actually love and use many their products.

    However the mascara is not good for a “real” cry. Slight dampening of the eye is fine but real tears will have it come off in little threads either on your tissue or your cheeks. I would recommend highly for everyday use but for your daughters wedding? Pass.

    Mazel Tov to you all!

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  11. I cannot wait to see your dress! I know that you are going to look as lovely as you always do. My advice, enjoy it, savor your time with family and friends.
    Bring a second pair of shoes to wear, they say you should change your shoes 2 times a day.

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  12. Comfortable shoes! I did take flats for later in the evening, but mine were actually the worst even at the church. Mostly though just enjoy the day and be as present as you can be. I still count it as one of the best days ever and seeing your precious daughter marry her love will fill you with joy.

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  13. I echo the advice here about shoes. Additionally, try your best to relax and enjoy the moment. Things will happen not as planned and you will want to intervene but try to go with the flow because the guests will not notice anything wrong.

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  14. This probably won't work (blogger doesn't like me) but I will try anyway. I have been MOG and AOB. I wound up making my outfit for the first (about thirty years ago) and making the tuxedo jacket and shell to go with ready made black velvet pants (almost two years ago). The son's marriage imploded after a few years anyway, so it really didn't matter I suppose, except I looked better than my ex-husband (the groom's "father"). Sarcasm intended. The niece's wedding was such a circus in New Orleans that no one was looking at me anyway, so that didn't matter either. Oh well. I do know mascara, though. I have never tried Thrive, but Dior is good. I have been liking the Benefit mascaras, and I layer three of of them over Lancome's Cils Booster, which is a primer and is great no matter what you use over it. I also like Buxom mascara by Bare Minerals. I used to swear by Charlotte Tilbury's but it does smudge a bit, although you get a very high drama look with it. I have used Latisse for years, at least 6 I think. I have blue-green eyes, and it never has affected the color. My dermatologist said she had never seen that happen, either. It takes about 4 months to fully kick in, so if you start now, you will have very full eyelashes by New Year's ... You might want to try some extensions or false eyelashes, but a word of warning: tears will make the strips fall off. The extensions will also let go if you use any products with oil around your eyes.

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    Replies
    1. Omg you're hilarious. Please tell me you have a blog!

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  15. I have been MOB once and MOG twice now, and the dress hunt is a real struggle. But, the evenings were some of the most fun ever! I'm thrilled you found your dress, and I cannot wait to see pictures of it and the party. Our SIL told us that their wedding was the best party he had ever attended. That was all that mattered! At one son's wedding last year, Hurricane Michael had visited and left our venue without power, even though the day was sunny and gorgeous. The staff did an incredible job, and it went swimmingly with many good stories for them to tell their children. Savor every second, enjoy!

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  16. Katie,

    I was so happy to see you had visited my blog. I apologize for not coming around in so long. Crazy summer and mid Sept. we headed the France and Italy...but hey this is not about me!

    I love reading about your adventures. Heck I will bet you can even make going to the dentist entertaining!

    Advice...Well, I remember my two daughters weddings as being the most beautiful experience in my life coupled with on an off stress! We had a wedding planner for the second one and she was worth every dime! She kept everything flowing smoothly so that I could just enjoy. One friend (ha) came over to tell me she didn’t like her seat assignment at the reception. The wedding coordinator intercepted and swiftly steered her away, It was like she was my personal body guard and wasn’t going to let anyone ruin my evening. The above advice about comfortable shoes is right on.

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  17. I have never been a MOB or MOG,but living in Alabama,I do know my mascara. I swear by waterproof during the hot summer months. I used Lancombe for years. I tried Almay,yes, the drugstore brand, and I find I like it just as much or more. Their water resistant eye liner is also great. I even wear both to water aerobics, and they stay put.The price is right, but I wouldn't use them if they didn't work during July and August.

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  18. I just about had steam coming out of my ears as I read about Coco. What a shame! I can't wait to see your dress, and I'm so glad you found something that you love!

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  19. I had problems finding a MOG dress and ended up with black palazzo pants and a very lovely top (which I've worn a zillion times since. I feel your pain.

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  20. You won't be disappointed with the Diorshow - I've used it for years. i prefer the Iconic Overcurl version as I love the brush and it curls beautifully.

    The other mascara I'd strongly recommend is Bobbi Brown's Smoky Eye - you can use layer after layer and it does not clump or feel sticky - lashes still feel like lashes. I've been using it for most of the summer as it was in a QVC kit and I'll continue to purchase.

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  21. False eyelashes. The makeup girl put them on me and I’m hooked. Enjoy every minute of the big special day!

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  22. Oh my, Katie, I could tell you so many horror stories that you would definitely pray for the happy couple to elope. The best advice I have for you is to get yourself your OWN maid of honor--all MOBs need one--to tell you when your cheek is covered with someone else's lipstick or your hair is sticking straight up in back from all the hugs, or to bring you a drink when you are too busy being hostess, or to commiserate with when some long lost cousin of your hubby tells you they wouldn't have recognized you because you've aged so much more than he did. I have tried many mascaras but I always go back to Clinique's High Impact, but not the waterproof. And I highly recommend a professional makeup artist BUT go for a few trials first!! One made me look like an aging hooker, and another made me look exactly like my grandmother, who, although she was a beautiful woman, was definitely not the look I was going for. We did find the perfect artist. Despite my opposition I allowed her to add a few fake eyelash pieces and she was right about everything! And speaking of Neimans, I had the exact experience as you...I don't know who shops there anymore!! I looked everywhere for a dress, even in our little town boutiques (you know where I live) and I ended up with a dress I found myself online from a designer collection. My local tailor altered it, and it was perfect. You are going to have a wonderful time. Pack lots of tissues in the Mister's pockets. xo Linda

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  23. Ugh, Lucy.....I'm afraid I wouldn't had to say something really insulting had she brought me a dress I specifically told her I would NOT like. Can't wait to see your CH dress (or separates, which is it?) She is a class act.
    I've been wearing Younique mascara for about 7 months now, after 40+ yrs of Maybelline's pink and green, if you can believe that. They now have a 4D mascara, and I'm swearing by it. My daughter uses a primer with it and rocks the makeup. I just try to go for more than a slit, puffy eye that is my natural look, a family [dominating] trait we most all got from our Dad's side of the family.

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  24. The suggestion of a maid of honor for the MOB is excellent. I know a candidate you can interview. I agree with the suggestion of the LancĂ´me primer it is great. I second the recommendation of Bobbie Brown. Santa surprised me with it last year, I can only hope he will do so again.

    Do Chow and Chili have their outfits also?

    annie g

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    Replies
    1. They do. Now all we need is to see if their passports arrive on time. Chili had a few things show up in her background checks. That's what we get for rescuing her.

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  25. Katie,
    2 Things: get a make up artist recommendation from the resort that knows how to do grown up make up and not just sweet young bride. She will get your face to set and will have the mascara situation tackled. Also, the one I used in Dallas did a half false eyelash set. They looked great but not too fake and they didn't bother me at all.
    This is the most important: have a list of group pictures you want taken and make sure they get made. I forgot to do this and there were family members that got missed. Sure we had casual pictures of them dancing, etc., but none with the bride and groom or other family members. It might seem like a pain at the beginning of the party, but you will be so glad you have those pics. And so will #1 and Adorable.

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  26. I'm right there with ya, though this is my third time as MOB. I don't have much in the way of advice, as a matter of fact I'm looking for my outfit for the day as well. It's a June wedding so I have a bit. It will be outside by Lake Superior so wind could be a factor as well as any other kind of weather imaginable. I'm thinking dressy pant suit.

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  27. The fake Chanel girl is too funny, but not for you of course...so glad you found THE dress! My sis in law uses Latisse, and her lashes look great but they are so perfect they look fake...I wouldn't overthink it, everyone will be looking at the bride and groom, just relax and have fun!!
    Jenna

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  28. LOL your trip hunting for MOB dress was like mine also, only I didn't get Miss Chanel to help I would have had to tell her a few tips on being a personal helper for MOB dresses.
    Also the waterproof mascara pulls my own lashes out when washing my face? any tips


    Janice

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  29. Haha MOB dresses are a thousand times worse than bridal gowns. My DIL wanted me in navy - least favorite color after bright orange and this was before navy was in fashion. I couldn’t find a thing. Hello we don’t want strapless at our age!!! So I went all the way to Vegas - found one. Hated it but it was navy. Then her mother shows up in Black because she could t find navy. Why didn’t someone say something? Promptly threw that one out. Now she only lives pink! Oh my why couldn’t she have loved it then.

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  31. Oh dear, but I know you got this! You won't want to do what I did, but I had my dress made from a woman on the west coast. I never visited but rather let her know what I was looking for, we took measurements, she shopped for the fabrics and got my approval, then sent me samples in the mail. She made the sample dress for me to try on and get pinned. I shipped that back to her, and then she got started on the dress. This was the most wonderful experience. Have fun! You will!!

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  32. So sorry you had such a tough time with the dress! I live in Boston too and after searching for MOB dresses twice so far in town with no luck- I have the perfect strategy! I go on Bergdorf Goodman, Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue- they have huge online selection and free shipping to you and back. Order my favorites- try in comfort of my home with my Sisters present to Help evaluate- and ship back what isn’t right. I found the perfect dresses and use this system anytime I need a special occasion dress. These stores always have a huge selection online. If you need alterations- you can still go into the store for that. Neiman’s owns Bergdorfs so you can alter at Neimans if you aren’t in NYC. Make sure you get Family photos at the Wedding with your siblings and their family while you’re all looking so Spiffy!! Get a pretty block heel shoe for the reception!

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  33. I had the best time reading the comments and your horror show with Coco. My 37 yo daughter got married for the second time in Sept. She had a gorgeous cream dress and she, her 13 yo daughter and 11 yo step daughter wore COWBOY BOOTS. They got married in the back yard... the week before we went to SO's nephew's wedding in a HAYFIELD. The bride and bridesmaids wore cowboy boots so I managed to keep my jaw in line at my daughter's gig! I had bought a simple, flattering dress at Dress Barn (50% off), then found a BETTER dress at a thrift store in Rockland, ME--$30. Simple shift with tiered skirt edged with beads and jacket with flared sleeves. A weird blue--bit of purple and gray tinge to it! Had to move a few beads from armpits to shoulder where some were missing. No one looked at my feet in loafer type shoes! Your do is obviously a much bigger do, but I'll bet the look of joy and radiance on my girl's face will equal your girl's. Good luck!

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  34. I am glad that you found your dress. I thought that months ago you mentioned that you were having one custom made?
    I highly recommend a make-up artist who uses individual eyelash clumps and spray foundation. Both are super clutch IMO.

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