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Tuesday, April 30, 2013

A HUSBAND'S DAY AT WALMART


A friend posted this on Facebook.  I think this is one of the funniest things I have ever read!







After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart.  Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.  Equally unfortunate,  my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday, my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart.


  • Dear Mrs. Woolf,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

    6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
    obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
    Emergency Medics were called.

    9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

    15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the Staff passed out.

    I wonder if I'll have to go along on many more shopping trips?


Don't get any crazy ideas, Mister!!!!




Hope your day is filled with 

laughter!








Monday, April 29, 2013

A Boy and his Toys


The Mister announced a couple of weeks ago that he ordered a new brass plate for the front door.  It arrived last week in a box the size of Georgia.

So Sunday morning he told me that he had to run to his 
home away from home, "the Depot."

ought oh... I know what that means...

Later, I found Tim the Tool Man the Mister working diligently on his new project. 


He feels the more noise he makes the more fun it is!





Busy, busy, busy...




Me:  "So what's this, Mister?"

Him:  "Oh, I needed a new tool chest."

Me:  "On wheels?  Are you going on the road?"

(I didn't want to tell him that his new rolling tool chest looks just like the ones they sell at Joann Fabrics for scrapbookers).





Me:  "Mister, did you get a new drill, TOOOOO?"

Him:  "Nah, I've had this one for awhile."

Me:  "How long?"

Him: "About 40 minutes."



Me:  "Mister, did all these doohickeys come with the drill?"

Him:  "Not exactly."




Me:  "Whoooaahh, Mister when did the Depot start selling socks?"


Him:  "They don't.  I got these at the running store and the guy told me that they last a lifetime."

Me:  "Who's Lifetime?"

My only consolation is those little bright Depot orange beauties are headed to my washer in less than 12 hours.  
Do you know what I call my washing machine?

The Bermuda Triangle 



Next time, it might be cheaper to hire a handyman.


Hope you have all the right tools to have a great day!




Sunday, April 28, 2013

Oil & Vinegar


The Mister is not a shopper.  There are only a handful of stores that he gets really excited about.  Home Depot, Lowes, and Brookstone are a few of his favorites.  

Then, for Christmas, #1 gave her Dad a gift card to a fairly new shop in town.  
It was love at first taste.

His new favorite store, you ask?

Oil & Vinegar is located in the beautiful shopping section of Watters Creek in Allen, Texas.  It is owned by Cheryl and Marvin Kobza.                                 

For a little store, it packs a big punch.   


  

Oil & Vinegar carries over 50 oils and vinegars bottled and "on tap."  It is also chock full of only the best of mustard sauces, salad dressings, olives, sun dried tomatoes, jars of all sorts of honey, fig spreads, dried herb mixes, spices, and pasta and sauce and plenty more. 



This lovely lady is Leslie.  She was kind enough to give me a tour and also filled me in on a few interesting facts about the store.  The store owns a shrink wrap machine and can make baskets at a moment's notice.  They'll even include items purchased at another store!  Also, they gift wrap and ship.
Who could ask for anything more?


This handsome man is Joey Alleto who is the resident Chef on staff.  Chef Joey took time to tell me that every oil is from a specific estate.  Also, the oils are pure - no blends like the ones you find in the grocery store.  Chef Joey also does cooking demonstrations on site.


This is the "Amphora Wall."  These suspended glass containers encase 50 oils and vinegars on this beautiful back lit wall. 







When I first walked into the store, I was in awe of its beauty but also a little intimidated.  As many of you know, I could never be classified as a "foodie."  But between the great signage and the warm, helpful staff, it is truly a most enjoyable learning and tasting experience.


This store was so much fun to photograph!


Every item in the store can be tasted. 






 The store provides these darling glass bottles for purchase so that the guest may fill them with their choice of their favorite oil or vinegar.  The best part is.... you can also bring the empty one back for a re-fill and will only be charged for the content. 


The Mister treated himself to a whole bunch of these cute little bottles to sample lots of  tempting flavors.



These stunning boxes are made of balsa wood and can be purchased to encase an oil or vinegar.  What a great hostess gift!  Makes a great statement.  Talk about one-stop shopping!



Delicious bottled oils are also available.  Chef Joey raves about the truffle products - which actually have truffle in them!




I could have used this sign when I was single.  I couldn't make salad dressing to save my life!





I bought one of these little beauties -  not only for the delectable olive oil but also because it looks so pretty on my kitchen island!





Lots of great pasta and sauces are also included in the shop's inventory.


Another great looking hostess gift!  When my friends read this post, I'm going to get so many invitations!!!


Can't forget the jams either!


And last but not least... Oil and Vinegar houses the most beautiful ceramic pottery.  I put these bowls on my Mother's Day wish list.


And as far as Father's Day goes...
 I know what the Mister wants.... 
the whole store!

If you live in the area, stop in for a tasteful treat.  Not only is the merchandise the top of the line, the staff is warm and welcoming.  And if you are not lucky enough to live near this tasteful delight of a store, give them a call and they would be happy to ship to you.



Hope your day is filled with all the right spices!













 

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Another Fabulous Book Club


My friend, Chris hosted book club this month.  She has a gorgeous home and she entertains beautifully.  I always know the food will be spectacular at Chris' home because she owned a successful catering business called Chris' Kitchen.   



Love her centerpiece on her kitchen island.



The table looked stunning.  I don't know what it is about it, but I love the looks of a bench at a table.



Chris just painted her kitchen and den the most beautiful shade of blue.  It is so light and airy. 


How pretty is this place setting?  Believe it or not... it is plastic!  From Pottery Barn ... where else.  I love that store!


Not only can Chris cook ... she can put together the most gorgeous flower arrangements.




Could not get enough of these mouth-watering Truffled Asparagus Crostinis.  You can find the recipe here.



These are the most delicious mushroom tarts.



Not only is this salad gorgeous... it is positively delectable!  The ingredients include melon, Serrano Ham and Arugula.  YUM! Chris was sweet enough to provide the recipe here.


Another delicious salad that Chris served is a Pine Nut and Lemon Orzo.  You can find the recipe here.  Chris also mentioned that she less lemon juice and more Parmesan.


As a note... I have to say that both salads were the perfect compliment to each other and I strongly suggest serving them together.


We enjoyed these yummy baby bundts from Nothing Bundt Cakes.


Chris' dining room is so pretty and painted in a Tiffany blue.



Such a pretty living room.  My #1 would love that mirror!!!



Gorgeous pool with lush landscaping.



It was the most perfect day!  We sat out in this gorgeous setting before lunch and chatted away!


Have always loved this table with the flowers. 


Do these look comfy, or what?


A few of my buddies had to leave early before I got a picture.  These beautiful ladies are: Madumita, Jackie, Chris (hostess with the mostess), Corrine, and Kirsten.


I am delighted to announce that Chris has agreed to be a contributor to my blog.  Her posts will be titled "Chris' Kitchen"  and she will present more fabulous recipes and easy entertaining ideas.
Can't wait!!!



This was our book choice this month which I thoroughly enjoyed and highly recommend. 


Hope you have a wonderful day!







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